Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Cover Letter Script

A few months ago, I was looking for a job. I found an interesting post on a site for a publicist gig. The company was looking for a resume and a creative and eye catching cover letter. I fancy myself a comic book hack, so I banged out a script. Here it is...

Bob is Looking For a Career in Publishing.

Page 1 (6 panels)
Panel 1
A desperate yet qualified young man walks into a well-decorated, busy office. There are books and magazines thrown about the room, stacks and stacks of reading material is piled ceiling high.  A chair is looking out a large window.

Bob: Hello, sir. Thanks for seeing me. My name is….

Panel 2:
The chair has spun around and a cool, 20 something guy is studying Bob. He is wearing thick, black, horn-rimmed glasses and a short sleeve check pattern shirt. The man has a chic full-grown beard and stylishly messy hair.

MAN: Frantz, hey? Is that a German name?
BOB: Yes, sir. I am…
MAN: Don’t call me sir. The name is Tyler. Tyler Employed.

Panel 3:
A profile shot of the two men. TYLER is very calm and collective. BOB is covered in flop sweat.

TYLER: I was looking over your resume. It is rather impressive.
BOB: Thanks, Tyler.
TYLER: That’s Mr. Employed to you, son.

Panel 4:
Shot of BOB. HE is now a nervous wreck. HE has a look on his face like he has blown it again.
BOB (inner): OH, NO!!! I blew it!! I’ve been sitting here for two seconds and I blew it already!! What will I tell my beautiful young wife, Stephanie, and amazingly intelligent and hungry fourteen month old little girl, Sophie!!! I’m a failure
BOB: Um…I’m sorry, Mr. Employed. I didn’t…

Panel 5:
TYLER, laughing and smiling, taps the telephone on his desk
TYLER: I’m messing w/ya, Bob. Cindy, can we get a mop and bucket in here. BOB is sweating all over the place. Sorry…

Panel 6:
BOB sinks into his chair, somewhat relieved.
TYLER: Back to your resume. 10 years of broadcast media and 2 years publishing experience. Not bad, not bad at all. A comic book creator, eh? I love comics.
Page 2 (7 panels)

Panel 1:
TYLER is sitting back in his chair (it looks a little too large for him) thumbing through papers.
TYLER: Setting up appearances for your authors and creators at cons? I like that, shows initiative and organizational skills. And you have in-depth understanding of Social media and podcasting? Really on top your new media!

Panel 2: BOB is looking ecstatic.
BOB: Thank you very much, Mr. Employ…I mean Tyler.  I put a lot of time into my resume and have thoroughly enjoyed the work I have accomplished.

Panel 3:
TYLER throws the papers on to his desk.
TYLER: The resume’s all fine and dandy. I like what I see, but I must know one thing before even considering hiring you here at M$#k @#tt* Publisher.

Panel 4:
BOB is now nervous again. The happy look from his face has been replaced by worry and despair.
BOB: What…is that?

Panel 5: TYLER is lounged w/his feet up on his really large desk. He’s confident and cocksure as he stokes his massive beard.
TYLER: Can you grow a beard?

Panel 6:
BOB is deflated as he shyly runs his long monkey finger over his cleanly shaven face. Almost in tears, he whimpers out…
BOB: No…no, I can’t. I’ve tried, but it is kind of patchy and stupid looking.

Panel 7:
A profile shot of the two men. BOB is in his chair head in hand sobbing dramatically. TYLER is sitting at attention, somewhat concerned but mainly embarrassed.
TYLER: Hey, hey, big guy. It’s okay.
BOB: (incoherent whining)
TYLER: It’s going to be okay. Shhhhhh. Shhhhh. Your resume is really good and if you can’t grow a beard there IS another way to get hired.

Page 3: (Panel 5)

Panel 1:
Hope has returned to BOB’s face.

BOB: There is still a way?!!!

Panel 2:
TYLER, looking reassuring and caring.
TYLER: There sure is.

Panel 3: A Sword and shield have been slammed on TYLER’s desk. BOB is shocked and scared.
TLYER: Take these.
BOB: A shield? A sword?

Panel 4: TYLER is standing up next to BOB. TYLER has BOB by the arm and has lifted him to his feet.
TYLER: Come on. This way. Put this on. Hurry, hurry.
BOB: Wait, what? Where are we goARRGH…
TYLER: This way. This way

Panel 5: TYLER gets to a door and opens it up. And pushes BOB through the door.
TYLER: Since you can’t grow the beard, all you have to do…

Page 4
One page spread of BOB standing in a stale dark cave w/ a massive fire-breathing dragon standing behind a huge pile of treasure.

TYLER: (off panel)…is slay this Silver DRAGON!!!
BOB: In this job market, beats living with my in-laws.


...and i didn't get the job...bob...

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